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Synapse _ a Suffocation

by blurrybynature

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Moonlit 03:17
In these moonlit moments, I fall out of love As you return to form... Again.
Falter 02:23
You were born into this Your hopes, inherited I will provide Your pain Your comfort Agony and bliss I will enable you to fail In endless hiraeth Forgive me if I falter The skies are all so grey Now that you're gone Will you save me? Remember what we've made... You can't escape me You call me flawed, But I AM you... Pure greed and pride Refracted through The broken lense of your mind You're mine. You'll never have enough You'll never be enough You'll always crawl right back to me. Forgive me if I falter The sky is falling down Are you breathing? Are you b r e a t h i n g ? Stay with me, now...
Cure for You 02:59
I have learned to cut my losses Instead of myself When I think I'm too invested To hold it down choke it out suffocate it come around You will find me on the floor of my wishing well Drowned in the silver of well wishers And the water's rising now In spite of all these riches I know that you're a friend But they say that we're no different So show me your deepest scars And I'll show you a man Who's punctured his fucking heart I'm on my sixth sin now, and counting On my last smile A visibly faked frown "We Found The Cure For You." I put a literal lid on my misery And store it upon a shelf, with the rest of me Powdered and pressed depression repressant I'm not even sure who I am Without the worst of me "Why Don't You Fake A Fucking Smile For Me?"
Still Life 03:16
I write your misery in every line Everything you feel is mine Vivisection of your mind would show the pain that I contrive If ever a vision of rapture attraction or wonderment crosses your eyes You would do well to recollect that You're my conception I scarred your life Upon the very flesh of the ultimate being But her wounds are healing, yeah I carved you in her very image But she woke before I finished... You're a still life, can't you deal with it?
Gold 00:39
Gold; Her fingernails delicately stained by the Hands less steady than they have been By the jagged edged light of a cold Winter morning The cracks and chipped edges covered like fresh soil By the Autumn leaves she loves to think of On those hot Summer evenings When sleep seems so distant, and Peace of mind further still But the seasons have yet to bring fortune ...or so it seems, to her mind So exquisite, precious and heavy as Gold Stained with knowledge, And wanting for sleep.
These days are so long The warmth within my soul is dead and gone Through dry eyes, I watch the world turn Turn against us Winter's chill is crawling down my spine And it's showing in my demeanour I'm sorry for all the harm I've done This fractious man that I've become Carry these thoughts from me My carbon on the breeze A portrait of hypocrisy This cold has taken the heart of me Please don't let me drift away I feel my light fading again And I can taste the disappointment But I swear to you I will be more than this And the seasons have yet to bring fortune To a mind, stained with gold.
"I want more Drug yourself up 'til you can't function 'Til your heart is pooling on the floor" There will be no resuscitation this time No time to coward out Comatose spiralling out of view In the mirror you've come to fear One hundred and seventy milligrams and I can't feel my hands on the steering wheel i'm holding Holding on for what, i'm not really sure but i'm slipping Drifting out of control and consciousness Didn't even write a note this time Didn't even write a note this time and i'm sorry, but i'm not sorry This choice is all that's mine Now that the windows are caving in on my perception, and all i have left is this pain "Come back to me Come back to me, my love We're perfect We were perfect Don't tell me it's done I'm nothing without you I never meant to hurt you I was just your muse you're nothing without me you're nothing without me you're nothing without me you're nothing without me you're nothing without me nothing without me nothing without me nothing without me"
▓▒░ 01:30
Seraldantè 02:48
Let's go! I woke up into a shit movie Where I skip, and kick leaves of gold Stubbed my toe on the doorstep of Morning And carried on to mock my bones For they are no longer my prison, And there's not a psychologist breathing who can bring me in. Adieu! times two... nah, fuck it, three I refuse to believe this is too good to be true But OH NO! oh god, fuck, I can feel nothing without you But hey, this ain't so bad It's so much easier to move on when you miss nothing that you had So let's not raise a glass to the shit we been through Yeah, I've cottoned on to the way you been twistin' and warpin' my view Made me believe you were my anchor When you were a hole in the bloody floor I'm tired of wet feet... ...and gumboots ain't trendy any more! So feel free to show yourself out Of the rending wounds you bequeathed me Adieu, times two. Seraldantè.
I will try to hide this But the sweetest lies linger on my lips And I'm not sure of everything I know If I share this weight, will it pain or enlighten you? Don't tell me to let go 'Cause I'm not the one that keeps holding on To this deadweight It's become part of me part of me. I told you it's for the best that you stay out of my head But still you listened to every word that I never even said And my heart may falter, but it tells no lies. Will I drive you away with these polarities, Or carry you on wings of lead? Safely up and over this hell I've created As I paint it midnight in my head As I paint it midnight in my... I won't live to see the day When all hell fades Slave Forever sinking in the day One thousand miles above this hell I've created But on these wings of lead, I can't maintain...
I've never made a song worth hearing sober And I've always had a thing for the blood of stones, ah Why you think I'm always shirking plans, making amends, I wouldn't have a thing to mend if I weren't broken or breaking things And I'm afraid that now I might be both Not to mention medicated with a whole lotta rope To tie my dreams around my throat, And hope they float But I'm not sure which way is up no more "Hey man, what you walkin on the wall for?" "'Cause it feels like home... Always wanna be plastered' Pills I take every night get me there faster But the only thing about it is it only adds to problems, When the memories of anything worth staying for are puddled on the kitchen floor Search history says more about me Than anything I ever said to anyone I care about 'Who pays my mortgage if I die without dependents?' 'I think I'm alcoholic' 'Can't feel without a drink now' And I can't fool myself No more. This life is no shit movie It's as real as the tears I stained your birthday card with It's so ironic I got myself into this state To write the pain away It's so ironic, this vicious circle of vice. In front of me I see a skeleton Seems like perpetually I am enveloped By sinister motives of mirrors and demons But they're the only ones who never leave now that I am free I feel caged. You took my sadness away But it cost me most of my soul We were never perfect together But I'm missing you now that you're gone The irony could kill me... plot twist Cut. And it's so ironic I got myself into this state To write the pain away It's so ironic, this vicious circle of vice...


released August 20, 2020


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