The Truth As I See It

by blurrybynature

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Tristan A courageous exploration into uncharted soundscapes, composed with painstaking care and detail; and one just as delicate and tender as it is bleakly nihilistic.

Favorite track: Care.
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For Sarah.


released August 18, 2018

Music, lyrics and artwork by blurrybynature
Produced, mixed and mastered by blurrybynature.


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Track Name: Portraits [The Concept of Home]

A quiet sadness sets with the sun
As we travel through evening's dusk
The luminous grey seeps into our hearts
Like water in my lungs

It steals my breath
And your words
Wither in the sun
Flower of your love

For now, but not for long
I'll line these walls with dreams
And hope

Whispers in your ear,
Drowned out by the wind in your hair
I don't wanna be here any more
Any more...

For now, but not for long
I'll line these walls with dreams
And hope
And Portraits
Of you, my Concept of Home

A moment's silence for
The times we can't share
But true love waits.
Track Name: Don't Be So

Could've had it all
Everything they ever told me I should want
Four walls, adorned with fine taste
Love's fake
"Better settle or you'll never get better
Elsewhere's just a myth, don't be so selfish
End this hedonistic deathwish you find yourself in
Time and time again... what the fuck's in your head?"

Warm embrace at the door to my prison cell
Private Hell

But Hell doesn't look like they told me...

Hell doesn't look like what they told me
It sneaks up on you and becomes your way
Brutality's familiar way
Bleak days
Colder than the nights you lie awake
Track Name: Selfish

Will I make it out of this place?

I can't believe this prison cell used to feel like home
An escape from my mind,
Yeah I built these walls from blood and stone
'Til they consumed me
And I've become the devil I don't know

Feels so familiar, but that don't make it home
No, it don't make it home
No, it don't make it home...

These four walls once kept me warm at night
But the shelter they provide casts shade
And it's crawling down my spine

And now it's time
Yeah, it's time to be selfish
To save my life
My life...

Hell doesn't look like what they told me
It sneaks up on you and becomes your way
Brutality's familiar way
Bleak days
Colder than the nights you lied.
Track Name: Care

Wired, and off my head
Every fiber of my being is stretched
So thin
She says, "You're begging for a heart attack"
And I don't even care
No, I don't care
I don't even...


Wired, and off my head
I can feel the strain on my heart starting to tell
Fucked up beyond recognition
This isn't who I thought I'd be
I'm falling apart at the seams

But I thrive on the pain
It's become so familiar
It's ink on the page
Again, and again

She said "I care too much"
I said, "I can't see the point in anything now"

Unconditional love called my bluff
Track Name: Less

I watched you sink into the chemical low
Over and over
Drained you like blood from a needle
I watched you sink into yourself

More, and more, and more
To become less, again and again...
When did you learn to keep your soul in a vessel?

I watched you sink into yourself, and fade away
My love never faded,
But you were careless with yours

Our hearts once beat as one
But now you only open up to the poison
My love never faded
But you were careless with yours...
Track Name: Ghost In the Corner

Take everything from me
The love I found, my family
And all the beauty of the world
I never got to see
Just justify this feeling
So I can stop feeling guilty
'Cause I know I've got it all
In the palm of my hand
But the hole in my chest
Has got other plans for me

Why do I just keep fucking sinking?

I'm learning to live with your Ghost in the Corner
And I still feel you there
But it's better than the nights you lived inside
The months you claimed my mind
The years I called you mine

And I made a thousand plans
Just to watch them fall apart in my hands

Envisioned the shade to rise up from within
And take over my life, like original sin
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
When you truly believe the ghost lives inside your mind
Yeah, I felt the pain as a reflection of self
So I searched for escape in a vessel

I always blame myself.
Track Name: Picture Frames

I'm hanging dreams and hope on the walls
But the nightmares, they're in my head
Been in there a lot lately
Four years, if I'm honest

Finally found the resolve to find some help
I walked right up to the gates of my private hell
And the view was beautiful
But the gates were closed,
And I can't climb them on my own
Yet somehow all I want is to be alone

I'm locked in a paradox,
But I refuse to die here

No, I won't
Rip a hole in existence, and crawl right through
Into the souls left behind
Into their bloodshot eyes
Into their picture frames

No, I won't be their pain.
Track Name: Arteries

There is no time
Only you and I
Four walls and a broken hope of home
On my mind from day one
Until the breaking point

Your beauty so cruel and wonderful
If you let me, I'll take it all

Ten grams right to the myocardium
I long to feel
The arteries burst through my chest
I'll be a place to rest your head
And I know I could've been a better man
But I'm so tired of hiding everything that I am...
...could you understand?

Your beauty so cruel and wonderful
If you let me, I'll take it all

Your beauty consumes me
You're all that I can see
And here now, all I feel
Is everything

Take me home.
Track Name: Continent

Exposed; the skin that could never tell
The worth of her soul
Hidden beneath, like the blood that flows
Priceless and warm, the embrace I know
Forever I'll trace these arteries
Like the road back home

Fragile forevers in our hands tonight

With a love that punctures this cavernous chest
Through the cold nights that cradle my head
Nothing but time, and a continent
'Til I can hold you again

As broken glass and crystal hearts
Refract the fading light
Everything I am, is yours, my love
My love.
Track Name: Still Life [Goes On]

Track Name: Love What's Left

Bleed out the misery
Don't mind me, I'm just a human being difficult
A walking corpse burdened by thought
No I'm not falling, this is just a return
Return to form

I'll bleed out the misery
'Til you can learn to love what's left of me
A masterpiece of hypocrisy
Yeah, I've got the world at my feet
But it feels like it's on my shoulders

Oh darling, I've been devoured from the inside
So here's a rose for you, for every night that I lied

In your arms,
In my head,
All was calm
But it's gone now

And I know I swore to keep the dark at bay
But I lied to you every day
Yeah I told you "I'm fine" through grinding teeth
And I can't sleep

I can't sleep
But I'm craving something more complete
Craving something more com...

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